Goodbyes.... SUCK!

This week has been extra fun and busy! One thing I love about Christmas time is that I always seem to have lots of fun things to do mixed in with lots of the normal, busy stuff!

Macy and Girl's Night
Monday was officially crazy. After work, I jetted to the other side of Portland for Macy's two-week appointment with the surgeon. Dr. Kramer says that she is doing great and healing nicely! Such great news for us. She will have another check-up at 6 weeks with an x-ray to make sure the plate, screws and bones are where they need to be! After the appointment, I hurried back home for a quick Mac & Cheese dinner with Darin before heading out again for Girl's Night with all my friends. We always go to Applebee's, squeeze into our corner booth, share some appetizers and desserts and stay till they kick us out! There are few things better than recharging and hanging out with my girls! <3

Don't mind our crazy faces!

White Elephant
I am part of the committee at church that is in charge of planning activities. This month's activity happened to fall on Tuesday this week so I rushed home from work to get things ready. We had planned a dinner for the ladies to bring a favorite soup or dessert to share. We also had a White Elephant gift exchange and who doesn't love having a good laugh? Of course, I came down with a cold Tuesday morning so I didn't enjoy it very much... Mercifully, my cold only lasted about a day and a half. I swear, I am constantly sick since moving to Portland!

Date Night!
Wednesday was the night of my hot date with Kira! She decided to be pure evil and move away, so we planned a dinner out for just the two of us! We were planning to go to Red Robin (yum!) but I saw a sign for Olive Garden on the way home from work, and it was like divine intervention. I love me some Olive Garden! Kira is my best friend and I love her to PIECES!! We have only been friends for a short while, but we really are kindred spirits. I am so happy for her and Tim, they get to move on to bigger and better things. They really do deserve it! I just want to be selfish and keep her to myself. No one in Salmon, ID will love her like I do!

Soul Mates <3

Graduations and Starbucks
Kira's husband, Tim just graduated from Chiropractic school (yes the same one that Darin is attending). He has been treating me for the last few months at the school clinic and he is an excellent doctor! Thursday night, Kira planned a little graduation party for him with cake, balloons and all their moving boxes. It was so cool to see him all finished with school and moving on to practicing as a real doctor! After cake and congratulations, I headed out for a mini-girls night with my Chiro Trio! A few months back, Kira, Krystal and I started doing occasional Starbucks runs late at night. And of course, we had to go one last time before Kira moved! Kira got the three of us matching bracelets. I love these girls so much! I really have made some of the best friends since moving to Portland. <3

Best Friends for Eternity!

Never Live on the Third Floor on Friday the 13th
I have never been one to give much credit to Friday the 13th, but man this was a good one. My car broke down on the way to work. But luckily, I was almost there and was able to make it all the way. I had to call Darin and have him drive out and figure out what was wrong with it. A really LONG story short, we had to get it towed to a shop to get the water pump replaced (hopefully that is all they have to do). After work, we went to help Kira pack up the moving truck and all that goes with that. But did I mention, she lives on the third floor? Ugh! I'll keep my first floor apartment, thank you!

Third Floor Again??
Saturday was a little bit more restful... just a little. I got some laundry done and started my crockpot dinner before heading over to Kira's one last time! We went over to say our final goodbyes and I certainly did cry. (Kira cried first!!) I hated having to say goodbye to her little girls, they are so sweet and so crazy and so much fun! I love them to pieces too! Then I had to so my goodbyes to Kira. She really is my best friend I will miss her like crazy! Her family is so special to me. After pulling myself together, we walked over to another third floor apartment. My friend Ashley just moved into our complex so we helped them unpack their moving truck up to the third floor. We had a late pizza lunch with Ashley and Krystal's families and Macy got to play with Krystal's kids. Darin and I ran some errands: the bank, Kohl's, gym, WalMart and back home. Queue a late dinner with Ashley and Josh. I had made some Turkey and Dumplings from the Thanksgiving leftovers and I figured that they would be too busy unpacking to both with a nice dinner. Then Darin and I ended our busy week by watching the first Hobbit movie all snuggled up on the couch. <3

Free Bread Machine
Kira gave me her old bread machine before she left, so I cleaned it up today after church and tried it out. We now have a nice loaf of wheat bread after I scoured the internet for an instruction manual. I am excited to put my new-old bread machine to good use. Dr. Darin did some practicing by taking my vitals and checking me for problems. This coming week is finals so he has been studying A LOT! I finished out my day making some Chocolate/Hazelnut Thumbprint cookies and watching the Biggest Loser with Darin! (Did you catch the irony?? Yes.)

Sorry for the super long post, it has been a VERY busy week! Till next time!!

Happy December!!

For a while now, I have been thinking of doing a weekly blog. Just a quick little thing to keep people (mostly just my mom) in the loop of what is going on out here in Oregon. But let's give it a try and see how I do. I'd bet anyone that this doesn't last but who knows, maybe it will. 

This week has been pretty simple. Macy had surgery two weeks ago. She tore her ACL a while back and we finally decided to get it fixed. It has been a long two weeks and we still have four more to go. She has an appointment for a recheck on Monday so we will see how she is doing and find out if I have been doing a good job in her rehab!

After work on Friday we decided to get our Christmas tree. It as been freezing cold lately and we all about died at this U-Cut Christmas tree place. We went with some friends and their two kids were frozen solid! But on the bring side, we got a $5 Christmas tree, hot chocolate and cotton candy. Friday night was spent decorating the tree and the apartment, so it officially feels like Christmas!

Darin hit the mountain on Saturday, of course. My life as a ski widow has officially begun and I won't have my husband back until March or April. On the bright side, I got some good cleaning done on Saturday and made a cheesecake. :) I haven't eaten it yet but I am definitely looking forward to it! Saturday night was the Christmas party at church. It was great food, with fun skits and presentations. It was a Whoville themed so everyone was in their jammies and all the kids had a blast!

Today we had a group dinner with a bunch of friends. We love getting together for dinner's like this since most of us don't have family nearby. Everyone brings a piece of the dinner and it all comes together. Right now, Darin is sleeping on the couch. He hasn't been feeling well today so it is good that he is having a little cat nap. It is getting close to finals for him so there will be lots of studying to do soon.

Well that about sums up this past week. I have lots of things on my calendar this coming week. It is going to be a pretty terrible week though since Kira is moving.... Kira is the best and I don't want her to leave me!!! :( I am hoping to make some Christmas treats this weekend. I love making treats this time of year!! Merry Christmas!! <3

After The Breaking Point

All I have to say is, thank you. Thank you to those of you who have shared your love, stories and encouragement. I am overwhelmed by the number of people who have reached out to me since my last post. I have never felt this much love and support. It saddens me to know that so many of you have trials like mine, but your faith and wisdom has lifted me up. I am truly blessed to have so many amazing people in my life. I have no doubt that the Lord saved certain special people for this point in my life. He sent them into my life to guide me, love me and lift me up. For that, I will be eternally grateful.

So again, all I have to say to you is Thank You.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

The Breaking Point

I wrote this about a week ago and decided to sit on it for a little while. I wrote it for my benefit and doing so has helped me immensely, but now its time to share it with you. So here it goes:

Life is full to the brim with morals to stories. Everyone focuses on what they learned from their trials and they always share those lessons after the fact. They are always uplifting and give hope and faith to those who listen.  Right now, you are going to hear a story that has no moral. The story hasn’t found its end yet.

It is my story.

It starts five years ago when I married Darin. Oh my heavens, did I love that boy! And I have grown to love him more every single day. Don’t get me wrong, there were days I didn’t want to love him. We have struggled with our relationship and keeping it afloat. But here we are, five years later and I love him more than ever. He is the best person for me to share my life with.

But this story isn’t about us as a couple, it is about us as a family. Our little family of two (plus a dog). I was 19 when we got married and everyone asked us if we would have kids right away. I used to joke that even though I was married, I didn’t want to be a teen mother. So we waited. We spent our first 1 ½ years in Rexburg, ID. I graduated from cosmetology school and he got his freshman and sophomore years of college done. Then we moved on to Provo, UT for Darin to finish his Bachelor’s. Shortly after moving to Provo the time came. With a lot of coercion from me, the goalie was fired and we dropped ourselves into the “We are trying!” category. We weren’t going crazy with trying to get pregnant as soon as possible. Darin was still pretty scared and it was nerve racking for both of us. We decided to just let nature do its thing. Months passed and I had a brief encounter with a hemorrhagic cyst on one of my ovaries. It was nothing to be concerned about, I was told it would go away and that it wouldn't leave any damage.

Then we came to the one year mark. The dreaded YEAR. The goalie had been fired a year prior and there was nothing new. 

Then two years passed…

 and then three.

Three years of my life have been spent in this constant state of wondering. I know some of you might be wondering, have we been tested? What have we done to improve our chances? Testing is a lot of money and Darin has no insurance. And for those of you who have had issues with getting pregnant know, scheduled sex is about the least sexy thing to think about. However, we have just started on the scary path of being tested. (So far, so good)

A month hasn’t passed when I haven’t been sad. Somehow I have always remained hopeful and I hate it. Part of me wishes that I could just let go and not care. It would be easier than dealing with this kind of pain. But here I am every month, just as hopeful as the month before. And I am always disappointed.

People always say that it will happen when you stop worrying about it. This is my response:  I can’t stop, I can’t let it go. I wish with all my heart that I could let it go. But I want to have children. I have this pit in my stomach that knows MY children are up in heaven waiting to come to us. There is a part of my heart that they are holding. I won’t be complete until I can hold my babies in my arms.

Today was the breaking point that has been a week in the making. I haven’t been sleeping and I can’t get it out of my mind. And I am sitting here with my head literally spinning. I can barely sit in my chair for fear of falling out of it. I am dizzy, I am crying and I feel utterly empty.

This is the breaking point.

I am sick and tired to pretending that I am fine. I am not fine.

I am sick and tired of acting like it doesn't matter. It matters to me.

I am sick and tired of being hopeful. I am hopeful.

I am sick of shoving my pain deep down inside because I know that there are people in this world who have bigger trials than me. I have always put it away and never dealt with it. But I don’t know how to deal with it. Maybe sharing it with you will help me deal with it.

I am ashamed, and I don’t know why.

I so desperately want to be a mother.

So there it is. There is no moral to this story. It is just the story of me reaching my breaking point.

I am broken.

However, there are a few things I can be certain of. I have the love of an amazing, supportive husband. I have the love of my wonderful family. I have incredible friends who have been an unwavering strength to me (even though most of them don’t know this part of my story). I also have the best dog in the world. She is so intuitive and (as anyone who has met her can attest) she is sweeter than pie. She has been my constant companion.

But most importantly, I have the love of my Savior. He is the only one who truly knows my struggles and knows how I feel. No matter how broken I am, I always feel His love for me.

If there is any moral to this story, it isn't for me. It is for you. Here is your take-away: Never, ever ask someone if/when/how they will have children. Don’t ask when their next kid is coming. Don’t ask why they don’t have one yet. Don’t ask them why they don’t have more. Don’t ask them anything about their plans for children. It is absolutely NONE of your business. There are some people who are completely open and some who are not. Let them dictate when and what they share. Asking them before they are ready to share could make them a liar. And I have lied to people. I have said that we aren't trying, that we aren't sure when we will have kids, or that we want to wait. It was my choice to lie. But I beg of you, don’t put them in that place where they have to choose between lying or telling you before they are ready. And if you know someone in this kind of situation, don't tell them "Oh, I'm sure you will have kids!" You aren't sure, you don't know. 

But now that this is out in the open, please don't be afraid to talk to me. I am a fairly open book in most respects. I think I am afraid that people will treat me differently or tread lightly on the topic of children. I once had had a friend apologize to me because she was pregnant (no joke). I am always happy when my amazing friends have babies. Children are a wonderful blessing. I will have my chance to be a mother one way or another. 

God never promised any of us that our faith and righteousness will keep us free from trials. He promised us that through our righteousness and through our Savior, we will have happiness beyond comprehension. 

Just a some pictures from our 5th Anniversary in August

What's New in the Life of Him, Her and the Dog??

Well it has been an awful long time since my last post which practically makes me the worst blogger EVER! Life has been so crazy and we have been up to so many different things that I hardly have a second to myself to even think about blogging! And if I do end up with a minute to spare, it's usually spent on the couch with Goldfish or some other snack and a disc of Friends. (If you don't know me at all, then you don't know how much I LOVE the TV show Friends!) But I have a few minutes to spare today, Darin and Macy are both asleep on the couch. After church we came home and I made lunch followed shortly by a little adventure around this pond/lake thing in the woods by Target. However, there is a sink full of dirty dishes that are trying to guilt trip me. But do not despair, I am committed to recapping the events of the last month!

So after our hike to Muddy Fork, which is chronicled in my last post, we took a little trip to California to visit my family. It was a last minute trip but super fun! We got to spend time with my parents, my brother, my sister-in-law, my niece Evie and my nephew Aaron. We also got to see some of my extended family which is always awesome! Also, I met up with my high school friend Rachele and her husband for some fro-yo. I can't believe it has been over 6 years since I have seen most of my high school friends! I didn't get a picture of me and Rachele, I can't believe I forgot! But here are some of the pictures I did manage to take on our trip!

View of Crater Lake from the plane on our way to Sac-Town

Darin and Aaron

Aaron and Grandpa

Darin and me at a River Cats game

Darin in his cute pink life jacket

Aaron and Grandma

Aaron and his Tia :) I love this boy!

Me and Aaron on the Tube

 We came home from Sacramento on the evening of the 4th of July. So we hurried home and then took off again to find somewhere to watch the fireworks. We managed to find a good spot near a high school that is famous around here for putting on a good show. Macy is surprisingly well behaved when it comes to fireworks so she got to tag along and cuddle up on our blanket!

Waiting for the show to start!

That same weekend we made plans with some friends to hit up Ski Bowl. It's a smaller ski resort in the area but in the summer they have some awesome activities. We found a Groupon for half-day admission so we took full advantage of that! They have an Alpine Slide (SO FUN!), rock wall, mini golf and all kinds of other fun things to do!

Darin and me on the lift at Ski Bowl with Mt Hood in the background

Alex and me waiting for the rock wall

The next fun thing we did was a trip to the beach! Some of Darin's school friends had been talking about going surfing and Darin really wanted to try it out. I surprised him and got a hotel for us so we could stay the night before surfing and have a nice, relaxing weekend by the ocean. We drove out to Seaside on Friday afternoon, went to the beach for an evening stroll, got fish and chips and just relaxed. The next morning we got up early to go rent Darin's wetsuit and surfboard then drove down to Short Sand Beach, which is known as a pretty good spot to surf! We invited some other friends too so we ended up as a pretty big group at the beach. Macy got to chase seagulls, run in the water, play with some kids and other dogs. She was so tired but she couldn't stop playing, it was just too much fun! Then after a long day at the beach, we took some friends and got pizza in Cannon Beach.

Here is Macy perched up in the window at the hotel

At the beach with Macy digging a hole

One of Darin's friends decided to help Macy dig!

One happy, tired and sandy puppy!

Heading out to hit the waves

Macy wanted to go out surfing with Daddy!

Darin found a crab out in the water

Darin paddling!

Macy and Darin playing the freezing water!

Crazy Macy!

Darin and his 9 1/2 foot board

Family Picture!

I hoped you enjoyed the little recap of the past month. We have been so lucky to be able to get out and do so much! Summer is such a fun time of year and we are loving our first summer here in Portland. Up next for us: Our 5th wedding anniversary (yep, FIVE!!), we might be going camping, Labor Day festivities, and who knows what else! Until next time, Cheers!

Hiking to Muddy Fork

Since we moved to the Portland area, we have taken to hiking... A LOT! There are tons of trailheads and so many beautiful places to see in the area. Rivers, waterfalls, mountain views... the list goes on and on! This past Saturday, we went on an AMAZING hike. Darin found out about it on a website where he has found all of the hikes we have done, at http://www.portlandhikersfieldguide.org/ . It is an awesome website and has tons of information for hiking around Portland. I recommend it 100%!

This particular hike was 6.2 miles roundtrip and had a vertical gain of about 800 feet. It was a pretty easy hike with major reward! It takes you right up into Mount Hood and the view was gorgeous. Of course, we took our little hiker puppy with us and she had a blast. The trail was relatively empty so we kept her off-leash most of the way. You start off in one set of trees, then the trail takes you around Bald Mountain. This is where you get your first view of Mount Hood. Then you go through another set of forest until the trail let's you out into this rocky/boulder-y meadow right up in the mountain. All the while, you are crossing 20 or so little streams. Once you're in the "meadow," there is a beautiful view of the summit and some huge 400ft waterfalls coming down the mountain. We took some PB&J's, carrot sticks and fruit snacks like you would expect from most 6 year olds. :) But it was a blast and we got to experience some amazing views. The pictures do NOT do the hike justice, but they are still beautiful. We will definitely be doing this hike again!

Through the woods

This was the view when you come out of the first set of forest on Bald Mountain

Macy loves exploring the forest

This is a zoomed in picture of some HUGE waterfalls on the opposite side of the fork

Mount Hood

Macy loved playing in all of the streams we crossed

One of the scary parts on the trail

She loves the snow, even if it's old and dirty snow!

View on the way back

A Political Series: Part 1 - Abortion

Here is the beginning of my Political Series. I have really enjoyed expanding my political views lately and even feeling a little "fire of change" growing inside me. This first topic I'm covering is a little less political for me. Although, it must be addressed politically if there is to be a change. For me, it a question of morals and our God-given human rights. It is something I always knew was wrong but not until lately have I really come to feel so strongly about it.

So here it is: Abortion. I once heard someone say that they don't want to change abortion law, but that they want the existing laws about murder to apply to everyone. I love that statement. Being Pro-Life is not about abortion laws, it's about recognizing that everyone is a person, even unborn children. In my research, I am constantly awed at the extent of life these children have from the earliest weeks of their lives. Life never started when we emerged from the womb. It started a long time before that. Whether you believe in a life before this world or that this Earth is all there is, a child is living before he/she takes that first breath. I asked some mothers to share their thoughts about having life growing inside of them. Their remarks are amazing and you can read them here.

Don't get me wrong, I don't believe that women should give up their lives to turn their uterus into a baby factory. I believe that children should ideally be brought into this world with both parents being fully committed to raising and caring for their children. It is up to the parents to decide how many children they will have and when they will have them. I know that a lot of Pro-Abortion activists believe that a woman has a right to her body (which is a very fair statement) and that she has a right to terminate an unwanted pregnancy. However, she already made her "Choice" when she had sex. She gave up the right to her body by engaging in sex which is emotionally and anatomically designed to create children, in addition to being an expression of love between two people. Can you see why I hate the term "Pro-Choice"?

When did our society change to a place where pregnancy is disease that needs to be eradicated, or that pregnancy is an undesired side-effect of sex? When did a child become something that will ruin our lives? There was a time when even an unplanned pregnancy was something to be excited about because people understood that a child is a blessing. Unfortunately, we live in a world where there is no option of NOT having sex. Society believes that sex is just what you do throughout the normal course of life. Take some responsibility when you engage in an act that is designed to create children! Don't have sex unless you are willing to deal with what might happen. I won't even go as far to say "deal with the consequences" because that implies that having a baby is a punishment. If getting pregnant would result in you having an abortion, then you shouldn't be having sex. I'm not saying that you should exclusively have sex only when you are trying to get pregnant, but don't do it if you aren't willing to accept that you might get a baby as a result. There are alternatives to abortion if you aren't ready to be a parent. Many amazing couples are in want of a family and would be ecstatic if they were given the opportunity to raise your child.

I knew a girl a few years ago who was 18 and trapped in a terribly abusive marriage. She was able to get out of that marriage after several horrible months with help from her family. Shortly after she left, she found out she was pregnant with her abuser's child. However, she miscarried and lost that baby. Many people told her that she must have been relieved, now she could fully sever all ties to that man... But for her, it wasn't a relief. She grieved for that child, as most mothers would at the loss of her child. I would dare any Pro-Abortion person to tell this mother, or any mother grieving a miscarriage, "Your loss wasn't really a loss. You dodged the bullet of parenthood. It was only a clump of cells, meaningless tissue that wasn't ever a real child."  Many times people will use this following phrase in reference to a pregnancy, "There is life growing inside you." But if the pregnancy is unwanted, it is no longer deemed as the aforementioned “life”. How is it that a change in perspective will make ending someone’s life acceptable? Just because a baby is unwanted, doesn't mean that their life is less valuable than a child whose parents want to keep their child.

I remember a few years back going to the "Bodies" exhibit at the museum we lived near. You know the one... they have all kinds of preserved dead bodies showing the different systems of the body like muscles, organs etc. Well, they had a section of the exhibit about fetal development. In the exhibit they had preserved babies of all stages of fetal development. It was a bit overwhelming for me but I was glad to learn that none of the babies in the exhibit were acquired by terminating a pregnancy. However, it was very enlightening. Even in the earliest weeks of life, these babies start looking like little humans. They have tiny eyes, a defined head/body, little arms and legs etc. This is only further proof to me that there is true life in each and every unborn child, and not just a clump of tissue. I encourage you to read this story about a woman's conversion to being Pro-Life when she witnessed an "ultrasound-guided abortion."

Often times people will bring up the question, "What if the pregnancy was a result of rape or incest? What if the baby won't live past birth or if delivering the baby will result in the mother's death?" In my religion we have the following explanation:

"Some exceptional circumstances may justify an abortion, such as when pregnancy is the result of incest or rape, when the life or health of the mother is judged by competent medical authority to be in serious jeopardy, or when the fetus is known by competent medical authority to have severe defects that will not allow the baby to survive beyond birth. But even these circumstances do not automatically justify an abortion. Those who face such circumstances should consider abortion only after consulting with their local Church leaders and receiving a confirmation through earnest prayer." (www.lds.org)

And while I support this statement, I strongly believe that a woman who has been raped or was impregnated incestuously, can find a little beacon of light in that horrible situation by bringing that baby into this world and giving him or her to a loving family who will care for it. I have read some very touching articles about mothers who have been in these situations (both rape and incest) and found great joy knowing that they saved a life and made a family complete. I have also read about a 17 year old mother who had an unplanned pregnancy and made the choice to continue with her pregnancy only to find out her baby girl had a condition causing the brain and skull to not fully develop. The prognosis was bleak and these young parents knew that their baby would not live past birth. The doctors strongly advised her to abort the pregnancy but she knew that there was a living child in her womb. Here is a piece of her story. "No matter what, she was my daughter. There was a life inside of me and I couldn't just take that away from her. She didn't choose to have this happen to her, so how could I choose to end her life to save myself from more heartache? The bottom line was simple. She was alive, she had a life and it was my job as a mother to give her the best life she could possibly have." Her daughter was stillborn at 35 weeks, but had lived a peaceful and happy life for those 35 weeks inside her mother's womb. I couldn't imagine the strength it took for a 17 year old girl to make that choice. And though I would encourage a mother in any of these situations to continue with her pregnancy, I will never scorn or ridicule anyone for whatever choice they make if this burden was placed before them.

Like I said at the very beginning, this is more of a moral topic than a political one. I have some very strong opinions about politics and government. However, there is a line between opinion and what is morally wrong. Abortion is part of the latter category. It falls in the same group as stealing, murder, child abuse and the like. Most people know that those kinds of things are wrong but somehow abortion has slipped under the line and is now viewed by most of the population as opinion. In most cases, if a doctor knowingly kills his/her patient, it's classified as murder. How can someone like Scott Peterson be charged with TWO murders for killing his wife and subsequently killing their unborn son that she was carrying, but a mother and the doctor performing her abortion are not punishable as murders?

I would like to encourage anyone reading this to truly think about their feelings on the subject of abortion. Do you have your own children, nieces or nephews, grand children etc.? At one time, those precious little ones you love so dearly were no different than millions of other babies who lost their opportunity at life. God has given us the amazing gift of bringing children to this world. Let's take responsibility for our actions and do what is right. Get involved and stand up for what you believe in. I was so nervous about this post. I was afraid of offending someone or having people retaliate against me for what I believe in. But there comes a time where we will all need to decide if our self-interest is so strong that we won’t stand up for what we know is right.

A Few Mothers Share Their Feelings About Creating Life

From a 29 year old mother, 18 weeks pregnant with her first child

"There is a heart beat, a brain, it's moving and stretching its legs, arms, fingers, toes. It's growing, like a plant or tree and people are more concerned about saving trees. It's amazing to watch it grow and me. I haven't felt it move yet, just seen it move in the sonogram. I think it is amazing what is happening inside me right now, when you stop to think about it. Life starts when the egg and sperm connect, it's growing from that point on. Creating a life is the most important amazing thing a woman can do. The ultimate sacrifice. You are creating another life!! How is that not God like? It's the closest to being a God/Goddess in this life. He created us, we create our children."

From a 24 year old mother with two young children, a 2 year old boy and a 2 month old girl

"I think that when conception happens a soul is assigned to us, but I guess in a more worldly view I would say that is when a heart starts beating. Babies move when they hear their mom's voice, music soothes them, I have no idea why people wouldn't consider them to be people. I've heard women say that they have the right to end it whenever because they are 'the host' of this baby. How about ' the mother'? Babies are being treated like parasites just so their mothers can't say that they murdered their own flesh and blood... You should Google this news article about this catholic hospital. The woman died giving birth to twins and the husband sued. The hospital lawyers said that they would only count the mom because the babies had not been born therefore they were not people..."

From a 25 year old mother with two little girls, ages 6 and 2 1/2 (Was 18 when she was pregnant with her first)

"For starters, the second I see two lines on a pee stick, my thoughts say, 'I'm pregnant.' So what does pregnant mean? You have created life. A life of another being. That being is not your body. That being has its own body, and whether you see it as a tiny spec or a full grown human, it is real and you created it. I do not feel that it is 'mine' so much as 'I am now responsible for this life.' Why do you think you yourself have rights of your own body? Because you are a life and you were created. You are not your mothers body. And your child is not your body. It's time to grow up and be responsible for that child the second you see those two positive lines, whether that be by changing your life to make room for a healthy environment for the baby, or finding a family that will (because there are plenty willing). Looking at my kids now with their personalities and their sweet little faces, it boggles my mind that they were both once 'just tissue worth nothing.' If 'just tissue' can become what I have created, every life deserves to be saved."

From a 54 year old mother with 4 children and 4 grandchildren

"I can't remember at what point it happens, but when I first felt that little flutter I knew there was a person there. As things progress, especially the latter part, when there is a lot of movement, it is obviously a live being. And towards the end, each one showed some symptoms of individuality & personality: responding differently to outside influences, being still and moving at different times of the day, for example. One of my sons would take his little foot and would push out near my ribcage, and when I would push it back, he would push more. It was like we were playing together & he was actively participating. Definitely a person."

From a 26 year old mother with a 9 month old son

"I was 16 weeks along when I saw my son for the first time in my ultrasound and that day I quit running because I was worried of shaking him up too much! I realized that there was an actual person I was responsible for in there. Around 24 weeks I felt real movements that were very much not my own, but a different, unique organism that acted on his own. And I can't tell you how many times I felt his hiccups rumbling my womb from his own separate body. Though we were conjoined by the umbilical cord, and he was relying on me for life, I felt throughout my pregnancy the unique life that was inside of me. I have never thought abortion to be particularly moral, but, after carrying and birthing a child, I find it very immoral."

From a 25 year old mother with a 2 1/2 year old girl and a 6 month old boy, she has also suffered a miscarriage

"I truly believe that life begins at conception. With my daughter, I saw and heard her heart beat at 8 weeks pregnant. With my son, I heard and saw his heart beat at 5 1/2 weeks. How people can think something is not living when it has a beating heart is beyond me! Not only do they have beating hearts but you can watch them squirm and move around on a sonogram long before you can feel them! My daughter used to play a game with me starting right from the time I first felt her, she'd stick her foot way out (to to point it was painful for me) until I would rub her foot, then she'd retract it back in really fast. She would do it for hours on end. Not only are they alive but they FEEL. Babies develop personalities when you're pregnant with them as well. When I was pregnant with my son I would rub my belly when he would get restless, to this day he still likes me to rub his belly to help him fall asleep. Anytime I was in a loud setting or music would play when I was pregnant with my daughter, she would get REALLY active. She loved it and still does. She was and is feisty.The argument that 'a fetus cannot survive outside of the mother' makes me SO angry! A full term baby can't survive without the care of an adult either, and let me tell you, it is a whole lot easy to care for the child when it's still inside you. For that matter, children in general cannot survive without the care of an adult for several years! There are THOUSANDS of amazing couples that would be AMAZING parents that cannot have children of their own. To say the baby isn't wanted is asinine, the baby IS wanted, maybe not by the birth parents but there are people who WANT the baby. Adoption is just so much the better answer. I know what it's like to feel a baby move, I've seen the heart beat very early on. I also know the heart wrenching anguish of staring at that sonogram screen praying for a miracle and the doctor confirming your greatest fear and telling you there is no heart beat, that you've miscarried. How anyone can knowingly kill a living baby, just kills me. Because they are living."

M.I.A.?? Blogging Hiatus

I know, I am a terrible blogger! I have been so busy and it seems like a never have two seconds together to get on my laptop and hit the keys. The only time I'm on a computer is at work and I don't think my boss would be too happy if I was blogging on his time.... (Can you say "FIRED!") It feels like I get up every morning, take Macy for a walk, go to work, take Macy for some more exercise, make dinner, go to the gym, take Macy out again and then its time for bed! Add in doing the dishes, laundry, keeping the house clean, grocery shopping and anything else that comes up. Then Saturday and Sunday come along and we end up going for a hike or something fun since its the only time we have together. But I WILL find the time to keep up on my blogging- power of positive thinking, right?
I have also been greasing the wheels to get some ideas rolling of what I want to blog about. I have about 17,000 ideas spinning around in my head. I just need to find some time to sit down and do the work. However, I am going to give you a little teaser on some upcoming posts. My mind has been flipping through some specific ideas that I am really passionate about. I am going to call these a "Political Series" and yes, you heard right. I am going to be blogging about some of my political views. I have always kept most of my political views to myself, however, lately I have been really jazzed about politics. I know its a crazy thing to get involved in politics but I am completely fascinated by it and I feel very strongly about a handful of topics. I will be talking about a wide range of topics like abortion, the proper roles of government, equality, guns and my all time favorite - Freeloaders. And yes, freeloading is a political issue. I have tons of notes on my phone because I will randomly have a great thought and it's like "AHHH, this would be great for my blog!" So I write it down and now its a huge mess of thoughts and ideas. However, I want to do this right and research these topics before I publish these posts. It will be a long process to get each of these posts ready but I am so excited to learn.
On a completely unrelated note, HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY! I hope you guys find the time to remember those who we have lost. It's raining in Troutdale today so I don't know what we will be doing today. I do have a lunch date with a friend so I will say goodbye for now and go get dressed. I hope you all have a great day and I promise that I will be back soon with another post! <3

Welcome to the Yucatan! With a Hot Bowl of Lime Soup on the Side

This past summer Darin and I took a much needed vacation to the Yucatan, specifically to Cancun. For those of you who live under a rock, Cancun is in Mexico. It was partially to celebrate our Four Year Anniversary (has it really been that long!?) and also to get some R&R before Darin started his chiropractic school journey. We scored an AMAZING deal on a hotel (thank you Deal Chicken!) and off we went for 8 days and 7 nights of Caribbean bliss. We invited our friends, Kurt and Shea, to come with us and it was an absolute blast!

We had tons of amazing food on our trip and among one of my favorites was this delicious, hot, refreshing, limey soup. They call it Sopa de Lima, aka Lime Soup. It is a rather creative name... (sarcasm anyone?). However, it was one of my favorite dishes I had while in Cancun. It was one of the dishes I set out to recreate almost as soon as we got home. Sopa de Lima originates from the Yucatan portion of Mexico and one website calls it "the Yucatan's verison of your grandmother's chicken soup." As for me, I call it the Mexican version of chicken noodle soup. It's great when you're feeling sick. As a scoured recipes, I found a lot of different versions that were not what I has experienced. Some had tomatoes, some had red or green peppers, others had cilantro. So instead, I just made my own and I must say, I actually like it better than what we had in Mexico. Here is the moment of truth, Ladies and Gentlemen, I present: Lime Soup.

Ingredients:

1 medium onion VERY thinly sliced

2-3 cloves of garlic, minced

1-2 jalapenos, seeded and minced (I used canned jalapenos this time)

2-3 teaspoons of dried oregano (Mexican oregano would be preferred)

Salt & Pepper

2 chicken breasts cut into chunks

12-14 cups of chicken broth/water (I used about 4 cans of chicken broth, and used water for the rest since I'm stingy and didn't want to use a whole case of broth)

1/2 cup of lime juice

Avocados, limes and tortilla strips for toppings

Directions:

Heat a large pot over medium-high heat. Saute the onions, garlic and jalapenos in a little oil with a little salt to bring out the moisture in the onions. Add in the chicken pieces and brown. Deglaze the pan with a little of the broth and add S&P to taste. Then add the rest of the broth. Let it simmer 30+ mins over medium-low heat (the longer the better). Take the chicken out and shred it. Return chicken to the pot. Add lime juice and cook for 5 mins more. Serve with fried corn tortilla strips, diced avocado and lime wedges to heighten the lime flavor. You could also top it with some queso fresco for a little creaminess. 

When I made this soup today, I made up an alternate method. I bought a rotisserie chicken from the deli and took all the meat off the bones then made my own broth by boiling the carcass in 14 cups of water. I strained all the bones and other chicken pieces out of the broth then followed the recipe as usual just using my homemade broth and the shredded meat I got off the rotisserie chicken. The soup was just as good, but took a little longer than the original version.

Sorry my picture isn't fancy. I decided last minute that I would write a post about the soup so I didn't have time to make some fancy presentation. If you like beautiful pictures of food, you should go see Hot Cookin Mama. Those pictures are yummy looking and will make your mouth water.

I hope you make this recipe soon and let me know what you think of it! Enjoy your own little trip to the Yucatan with this delicious soup that is refreshing and light enough to enjoy all year round!

Gratitude, what a funny thing...

So funny story: I woke up this morning with an overwhelming amount of gratitude for my family. It isn't actually "funny," but it was unexpected (not that I shouldn't be grateful, but just because I haven't had a feeling quite like this before). So, I thought I would take a few minutes before I head off to work to tell everyone how grateful I am. I have some amazing parents, siblings and the best husband. My parents and I have butted heads a lot in the past, but I know I would not be the person I am if they hadn't pushed me there.
I don't think there are many people in this world who can say that their mom is their best friend. It wasn't always that way, but it is now. A mom should be a mom when her kids are young, and be a best friend when they grow up. And my mom has done exactly that. I can talk to my mom about pretty much anything and she is the only person on this planet who understands my quirky sense of humor (she should know, I got it from her). Even though we are completely different people and have different personalities, she and I have a very special bond that cannot be compared to anything else. She is my one and only mom.
My dad is quite the conundrum. But even though we drive each other up the wall, he still gives some pretty dang good advice and has this insane sixth sense about the world. He gives some of the best hugs in the world and always wants to spoil his little girl. :) I can't complain about that. My dad always pushed me to be better and gave me some of the best marriage advice ever, even though it wasn't till years later that I fully understood what he meant. He set an amazing example for my brothers about what it means to be the head of the household. And that led me to know what I wanted in a husband. He is my dad, and I am his favorite daughter.
As for my  brothers, they can be little devils a lot of the time. But I am proud to say that they are all good men and have grown up exceptionally well. I don't think I would be the person I am today if they hadn't mooned me constantly, shaved my Barbie's heads, made their GI Joes wage war on Barbie, and everything else they did to make me cry when I was little. They taught me to be tough. I don't think any girl could have come out of my family without some thick skin. And as much as I love my brothers, they have also given me three of the most amazing sisters-in-law. All of my brothers scored out of their league when it came to finding wives. They are all different and they all fit into our family perfectly. I never had any sisters of my own, but I am certainly grateful for the sisters-in-law that I have been blessed with.
There aren't enough words in the English language to express how much gratitude I have for my husband. He is an amazing example to me. I am an incomplete person on my own and he makes me whole. Although we are both stubborn as hell, we are finding a way to make it work. It is definitely hard and doesn't come without trial and error, but it is 100% worth every minute. He is a rock when I am tossed around in the sea and whenever I find my way to him, life gives me something to hold on to. I thank God every day for sending this wonderful man into my life.
It wouldn't be fair to not mention Macy. I know my mom is rolling her eyes right now as she reads this. She doesn't quite understand the happiness that dog has brought into my life. Macy has the sweetest disposition and she is the one that I can ALWAYS talk to. She gets me up in the mornings when I don't want to get up. She plays and cuddles and gives me kisses when I am sad. Even though she is a bit of a money pit (that dog is always getting into some kind of trouble), I am so happy that we got her and that she is the one we picked out instead of some different dog.

So to wrap all this up, all of these blessings come from one place. My Heavenly Father has given me the most amazing family and I thank Him for the way my life has turned out. It wasn't always what I thought I wanted, but I know He knows better and that I am where I am supposed to be. There is no one in existence who knows me better than my Father. I have an all-encompassing love for my family and I hope they read this, because I am not the best at expressing these things out loud. I love you guys and I can't wait to spend eternity with all of you. We are an eternal family.

All about Him, Her and the Dog!!

HIM:
He is Darin and he is my husband. He was raised in Othello, WA (don't worry, no one else knows where that is either). He has two brothers and a sister, and he is the baby of the family. He served an LDS mission in Michigan from 2005-2007. He went to BYU-Idaho for two years and then transferred to BYU and graduated from there in 2012. His bachelors is in Exercise Science. He now attends the University of Western States, which is a chiropractic school. He just started his third quarter (out of twelve) and he tells me that he loves it! He is an avid freestyle skier and it wasn't until about a year after we were married that he would admit he loved me more than skiing. He loves to do anything sports related, although he tore his ACL about a year ago, so doing those things isn't always easy for him :(. He can't stand to be doing nothing, he is almost always on the go. He makes breakfast almost every day, even if its just to get out the cereal and milk. His legs will not stop moving when he has something to say. He works so hard at anything he is given and always sees it through. He can sing and dance better than me (I'm still the better cook though). He let's me do things my way (for the most part) because he knows my OCD-self would have a mental breakdown if I couldn't. He gives the best hugs in the world. He will eat almost anything, except cucumbers. He drives me crazy because he is so wonderful. He is the most well-rounded, level-headed, low-stress person I have ever met. So ladies, cry yourselves to sleep at night, because my man is 10x better than yours. <3

Park City in 2011

HER:

On a cruise in 2010

She is me, Melanie. I was raised in Sacramento, CA. I have three older brothers and I am the baby of the family just like Darin (it makes for an interesting dynamic when two "youngest" get married).
I went to BYU-Idaho for two whole semesters. Then I realized I was wasting my time and money in something I didn't care about. However, hope was not lost for my education! I had always wanted to go to cosmetology and so that's what I did and it was one of the best decisions I ever made! I just started a new job working for a family friend who owns an eBay store. We sell all things related to snowboarding. I think Darin sees me as a traitor since I now know all kinds of things about snowboarding when he is very much a skier through and through. I also do some hair on the side for close friends. I love to cook and bake, it's probably my favorite hobby. I dream of being super rich and having all the fun kitchen gadgets and just cooking all day long. This dream comes with a person who does all my dishes for me because I hate doing dishes! I also love to read and be super lazy. I love movies and most kinds of music. I like to think I can sing... but it just doesn't happen. My closet is color coordinated and categorized by use. I alphabetize and categorize my DVDs. If you haven't guessed it, I'm self-diagnosed functional OCD. My toenails are pedicured and painted about 99% of the time. I love to eat good food. I love Friends (the TV show) thanks to my lovely friend Kyrie who got me majorly addicted. I love animals of all kinds except birds. And I am deathly afraid of dragonflies. So ladies, be grateful you aren't as weird as I am!

DOG:

After a fun day playing with grandpa!

The dog is Macy. She is 1 1/2 years old. She was born on 10/17/2011 in Payson, UT. Everyone asks us what breed she is. Surprise, we don't know! Her mom was a black lab, and it is pretty dang clear that she is not 100% lab. Everyone has a different opinion on what breed she is and so I just call her Mystery Flavor. We got her when she was about 9 weeks old and she had my heart from the first second. She and her brother were the last of their litter and they were the only puppies we ever looked at. I held her brother for a few minutes and he just wanted to be put down. But Macy... oh man. Darin was holding her first and she was so captivated with him. She was completely engaged with us and I knew she was the one I wanted. Darin tried to get me to look at some other litters, but I said "no way Jose, this is the one I want." She was only 4 weeks old, so about a month later we went and picked her up and took her home. Now she is part of our little family! She absolutely LOVES to swim and be in the water. She is super groggy when she wakes up. She loves to wrestle. She loves her daddy more than anything and can't contain herself when he gets home from school. She loves kids and other dogs to play with. She burps, a lot. And she is so sweet, intuitive and completely perfect. She loves to cuddle and have her belly rubbed (typical dog). She hates to have her ears touched. Macy is the first dog I have ever had, I never grew up with dogs and I will never be without a dog again. Although, I can't imagine having a dog that will ever be as cute and awesome as Macy is. :)

This is when Macy was just a little puppy!

US:
Darin and I met in Rexburg, ID in January 2008. He didn't ask me out till the ski season was almost over. We were married in Oakland, CA on August 28, 2008. We are closing in on our fifth anniversary this year. Macy joined our family in December 2011, just two days before Christmas. We currently live in Troutdale, OR which is just the east side of Portland. We will be living here about about 2 1/2 more years. So far, we have moved seven times since we have been together. After he is a chiropractor, life is a blank page. The only thing I know about the future is that the mailbox will say Dr. and Mrs. Darin Haworth and I am totally fine with that. :)

Playing in the snow by our house in Provo